Somedays I hate being young. It feels like I always get those people that say, "You have no idea what life is yet," or " You haven't been through a bad spot in your short lifespan," or "You know nothing." How in the hell would they truely know, seriously? I've been through so much crap, seen so many things, felt so many emotions, how would they freakin' know!? I'm not stupid, naive, clueless, or lacking in hardships. I mean, look at me!? Do I look like I haven't been around the block a few times? I know how it feels to be hurt, mistreated, betrayed, disrespected, angry, bitter, dirty, disgusted, and totally and uttery broken. I know how in feels. I cry just thinking about those times. My heart aches to just feel totally happy and secure. I want to know how does it feel not worrying about how what you do will affect others? How does it feel not thinking about money and bills? How does it feel knowing where you'll be in a few years let alone next year? How does it feel to be the one who is right all the time? How does it feel to be the one in control? How does it feel to be totally free from everything on earth? How does it feel not to be me?

I'm so messed up. I just want to be what people want me to be. I just want to be accepted and loved no matter what. I'm scared to agrue my side or put in my opinion. I just want to be at peace with everything and everyone. I'm so tired of fighting. I'm so tired of getting hurt. I'm so tired of being a disappointment. I really am.

I want to cry. I want to cry all these feelings away, but it will never happen.